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Thalia Toha's avatar

Someone should include this sentence in classrooms and create a whole discussion around it: "Do not go robbing tombs again—at least until you’re older and more capable." Thanks for sharing this, Jack-

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Jack Massa's avatar

One of my favorite lines in the story! Something any good parent would say. :-) Thanks, Thalia!

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Thalia Toha's avatar

I might try this sentence out on the kids, Jack- I wonder what their reaction would be. :)

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Leanne Shawler's avatar

This was so good! Thanks!

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Mar 18, 2024
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Jack Massa's avatar

Thanks so much for your kind words, Sam. It's funny: I polished and revised some of the passages several times, but those particular lines just came to me, unexpectedly, and I thought, "Geez, that works." Writing is just a mystery sometimes, isn't it?

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

You're not over analysing, IMO. It was a very well-written little story. No excessive exposition, just enough to allow a proper image of the characters. And I also agree with you on the pacing. Just right. And the drama, which is character-based. I was hoping they might at least get some treasure in the end. As a reader, if you start rooting for the character(s) then the writer has done a good job. There's a lot of stuff out there these days where I simply couldn't care what happens to the characters. (Like Disney SW episodes 7-9 lol).

So yeah, it worked really well. I enjoyed it a lot.

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